A Dream to Fly

When you Dream

2008-07-04T22:38:00.000-07:00

Dreaming doesn't cost you anything,you can dream anything under the sun. However, making it real is not free anymore.

Take it from me, I made my dream into reality and it cost me all possible resources. Nevertheless, it also paid me more than a hundred fold.

It's always nice to dream...

Especially for U

2008-06-27T21:18:00.000-07:00

I keep messing up the lives of these people by sending them my blogs almost everyday. And I am so glad to realize that despite of their hectic days they always try to find time to view my blog,leave comments and messages.

Hope ur happy with ur faces here, kinda blurry though. ( leave a comment f u want another pic to post hehe)

Thank you so much guys and yes more blogs to come (wink)

MWAH!

Welcome to Japan

2008-06-24T00:05:00.000-07:00

My journey was long and with various ordeals yet because of prayers, perseverance and optimism I had finally reached my destination.

December 6, 2006 I stepped out from the plane with mixed emotions: excited for my dream has come true, tensed for what is ahead of me in this new and diverse world and of course wretchedness for being thousand miles away from the significant people of my life.

“Welcome to Japan.” My brother Leo whom I haven't met for so long and my sis-in-law along with their beautiful kids met me at Narita Airport.

Narita Airport

Ryuunuski,Naori,Ate Yumiko & Kuya Leo

A day after I arrived in Ibaraki (was winter I got colds rigth away)

Lunch time

I Believed I Can FLY coz I Believe n YOU

2008-06-22T20:04:00.000-07:00

Albeit I heard many comments that the internet has lots of hoax, I still continued searching and applying in there. Aside from the reason that millions of job are posted in the internet, it’s also quick and easy. You just need few clicks and there your resume and application letters are already around the world. True, you just have to be very chary with the responses.

My journey went on at a snail’s pace but I tried my best not to be twitchy anymore. My prayers became my weapon to trounce fears when it started to attack me.

Another call came and I was astounded to realize that it was the lady again with the British accent. She asked me if I already had the visa. My answer was quick “Hard for me to get a tourist visa” She said that I should get a working holiday visa. Although, I wasn’t sure but I told her we don’t have that kind of visa. “I don’t have much time right now, Pls. ask the Japanese Embassy what u need for a working visa. Here’s my phone number.” And she said goodbye. Thank God that I have a brother in Japan so I let him called the number. My brother told me that it’s a kindergarten school in Yamanashi, Japan quite far from their place. But still my brother warned me not to trust right away.

In the evening, I received 2- pages email from the lady. She said that it seemed that I was doubtful with their school because I let my brother checked them. So she included their school profile and plus the description of the prefecture they are located. She added that they were impressed by my resume and wanted to hire me immediately. Wow! It was still so unbelievable that I was hired base on my resume alone but of course my heart was pounding fast with excitement.

Two months of communication and processing, I got the working visa!!!

And my prayers “ God , I am so sorry that I didn’t trust you enough before. I didn’t realize ‘til now that you are always with me all the way. I was so dumb not to recognize that everything I’ve been through was a sign. Thank you so much for this wonderful gift.”

“…I believe I can fly because I believe in You.”

Beware

2008-06-19T21:59:00.000-07:00

Each day wasn’t complete without spending approximately 4 hours in the internet. I didn’t care to apply through agencies because in the first place I didn’t have the money and second ESL teacher hiring is rare in agencies.

I was in the middle of the road riding on a tricycle when my mobile rang. “Hello, Could I possibly speak to Ms. Estrellita Mayonila?” the voice with a British accent asked. “Yes this is Estrellita.” I answered kinda shouting to overpower the noises from the tricycle and the other vehicles around. “Wow! Are you outside? The noise’s a bit hurting my ears.” She said she will call me back after 5 minutes. The driver got mad at me because I told him to stop right away while we were still in the middle of the road. Before he realized I was already out from his tricycle and ran myself to the nearby pavement. (Thanks that I paid him ahead.) Five minutes after the lady called back. In a hurried voice she asked me how soon I can get a visa for Japan because they wanted to hire me as a teacher. She added that she will call back again after 2 days. I was bowled over; it was mind-boggling that I was hired without any interview or exams. Of course, I didn’t believe what she said.

I told Rodnie and my brother in Japan about the call both of them have the same answered it was fraud. Two days had passed the lady didn’t call back. However, I received another call but it wasn’t from Japan but from China saying they’re also interested to hire me but at least this time there was a kind of interview. She advised me to apply for a tourist visa first to make everything fast and easy and we’ll process the working visa later. She sounded convincing to me yet I told her that I might need their school profile during my visa application. She said she will email me but she never did.
Those guys were rather unlucky to choose me as a prey.

The force was with me

2008-06-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

My dream that I was flying happened at least 3 times a week and I was already so exasperated. I wanted to disregard everything: the mental, physical and emotional weariness that I incurred and of course I wanted to forget my dream, my desire to work abroad.

For a week of not asking anything from God, this time I yielded. “God could you pls. give me peace of mind?” I humbly asked. Well, God didn’t answer me because there was I again up above flying in my dreams. Then I finally realize that no one can ever solve my predicament except me. So I recalled again the 2 likely reasons why I had this dream: first because of my strong yearning to really work abroad and second this is another sign that God is giving me. I can’t deny myself that the first reason was utterly right and what if the second reason is also right? Suddenly my Aquarian personality hit me and these words were seemingly glowing what was once a dark road “Every Cloud has a Silver Lining” I went back to the church and there I walked again with my knees from the entrance to the altar, teary-eyed I said my prayers again and again.

Guided by optimism and faith I started sending resumes and applications in the internet for ESL teacher to all non-english speaking countries. (maximum of 12 applications a day) I did this for a year. 50% did not reply and 50% acknowledged my applications with 2 common reasons: they don’t have vacancy or they need a native-english speaking teacher.

But this time,there was no room for giving up. I felt like I was a Jedi in Starwars ( lol) “the force was with me”

What Dreams May Come

2008-06-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

Part 7

I went on with my tutorial classes for over a year but wasn’t in high spirits because I failed to provide full financial support to my nieces with their education.

Then came an offer from a friend to work in the US, it wasn’t a teaching job but I was dancing in glee as it was related to my previous work (sales) and I thought that God had finally answered me . However in one snap of a finger it was gone ( I was denied by the embassy). I was staring blankly as tears rolled down from my eyes. “If this is a game, I’m not playing this anymore.” I said to myself.
I wanted to ask God again but it seemed everything was futile. So I decided to keep quiet; no complains and no questions.

My life went on as I tried to forget my dream to work abroad. And though I chose myself to stay quiet, I still gave Him thanks for giving me another life each day yet I didn’t heed to pray for signs and for directions.

I was in the middle of enjoying myself flying as I watched the sunrise clasped the earth while the breeze kissed the leaves when I heard the phone rang. I woke up stunned that I was just on my bed lying not flying. The phone rang again, it was my brother asking me “why won’t you try applying as ESL tutor abroad?” I was still kinda groggy from my flying dream so I just said “ok” right away.
Applying for a tutorial abroad did not make sense to me so I didn’t care to apply.
My “technical dream that I was flying” went on and it almost happened every night although I didn’t think about it prior to sleep. I shared it with Rodnie and we came up with 2 likely reasons: perhaps because of my strong yearning to work abroad and perhaps it’s an indication that I do really have a chance to work abroad. I told Rodnie not to talk about signs as it will just give me headaches.

So I just smiled and said “What dreams may come”

My Prayers ( part 6)

2008-06-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

I quit my job and went on with my medication. Still, I didn’t receive any answer from God why he gave me an infirmity that is hindering my dream. Why he seized away the work that I already started to love. There were lots of unrequited questions and I was already dead beat to look and wait for an answer.

But life has to go on. I didn’t allow myself to be put in a cage of confusion all the way. Luckily, I found a lighter side of my job; an ESL tutorial. Albeit, I earned less than my full time teaching job at least it wasn't that stressful for me. And the next thing I knew, I was already earning parallel to my full time salary before. I taught as an ESL after-school teacher in CIS while I also had my home tutorial. True, I doubled or tripled my efforts but this time I was amazed that I was doing fine physically. (perhaps because it was a one-on-one class). Then suddenly, I realized that I haven’t been praying or praising to Him lately and I felt guilty.

So I prayed to him “ God thank you for these blessings. I don’t know if this is already your answer of my questions to give up my dream to work abroad (because I believed that tutorial experience is not a strong qualification for teaching abroad) but God you know very well, that my wish to work abroad is not just for myself but also for my family especially to my nieces who need financial support for their education. But with conviction, you know what is best for me so I humbly ask you to please steer me to the right direction of your will. Amen.”

(This became my prayer when I went to Sto. Nino church every Friday and walked with my knees from its entrance towards the altar.)

The Sign started to get vague (part 5)

2008-06-10T23:06:00.000-07:00

I started my first teaching job full of energy and excitement. Since the job wasn’t a piece of cake as many would have probably thought, I wielded multiple efforts ( I taught 3 subjects in a day with over 40 students in a class). I studied my lessons, prepared plans and teaching materials;burning midnight oil became my routine. (the job was 360 degrees turn from my previous where I didn’t have to take home my work) yet teaching is also an exciting job, everyday is a challenge. However, came the time when I felt worn out already physically and mentally. My migraine attack occurred 3 times in a week and ‘twas severe, it lasted for 3 hours or so and I was also diagnosed with GERD (an acid reflux disease). I was advised by our principal to take a leave of absence for a week and my co-teachers told me not to bent out of shape “ You’ll be fine.” Their words of encouragement triggered me to continue the challenge. I still experienced migraine attacks as well as acid reflux but thanks to the medicines the pains were not much as before.
Dilemma happened at the end of the school year when we were asked to sign the contract for the next school year. My love for teaching has already progressed and yet my physical condition wasn’t still better. I was all ears to various advices my family and friends gave me. The big question was “could I still muddle through the pressures of the job?” I wanted to give it another try not only for the reason that 1 year experience isn’t enough but because I still love to be a part of the school. However, I was also scared that my illness will get worst. Consequently, I quit the job and asking God "why is this happening?" I felt down in the dumps.

The Signs (Part 4 Wish to work abroad)

2008-06-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

After the licensure exam, I entrusted everything to God. I said to Him let my result in the board exam be the sign whether you want me to pursue this dream or not. I was still jobless. I didn’t apply any job because I was still in a state of perplexity.
I was in our hometown, when Rodnie called me over the phone with his voice full of excitement “You passed the board!!!” I was speechless for couple of minutes, my eyes were shut then with the strength of my larynx I shouted “ Yooohoooo…thank You!.”

Apparently, this wasn’t the finish line. I needed to have teaching experiences to go on with this dream. I knew it will take me another long phase of reaching my star but this time I was so motivated by the “sign” that God had given me.

Time was too precious to waste. My applications were sent straight away to different schools. First call, I got accepted but the compensation wasn’t quite enough to support my needs & my bills. ( I was already ashamed of my brother for supporting me over a year) “God, I don’t need just a job experience but finances as well.” I prayed. Second call from another school, I had an IQ exam ( wasn’t able to finish) but I got a chance to demo. It was my first time to handle a class because I didn’t have a practicum. The aftermaths were nausea and vomiting.

Then God gave me another sign, I was hired!. ( with remarkable compensation)
Plus wonderful co-teachers and friends.

( madam rich, can't find our photo huhuhu.send me 1 pls. f u have ;)

My Angel w/ her daughter and My Darling

The test ( part 3 wish to work abroad)

2008-06-02T20:31:00.000-07:00

Part 3 –The Test

I was baffled yet I didn’t give up the LET considering the money and effort I’ve already spent. Came the examination day, I didn’t feel jumpy nor confident. I was just there bluntly to take the test as my iceberg of yearning for this career started to melt down.

We were almost ready to start the whole-day exam(Secondary) when our proctor put us to halt. She was counting the forms and said that someone made an error in filling up the form, instead of Set A she/he filled up Set B ( our group was divided into 2 sets) . The proctor ran through the paper to find out who, while we were busy murmuring. “ Ms. Mayonila” someone called me but I didn’t bother I was busy chatting with my seatmate and perhaps it’s another “Mayonila” ( though I had a hunch that it was me) “ Ms. Estrellita Mayonila” the voice said it clearly this time. “Yes” I said, and then I felt the warm blood rushing through my veins. It was the proctor who called me and yes I was the one who mistakenly filled up the “Sets”. I wasn’t blushing because we were late to start the exam due to my carelessness but when the proctor said “ Lucky for you, I found your error, your score in the test could have been zero.” I was thunderstruck. She explained to us that the machine is programmed to check the paper by “Sets”. Anyway, she wasn’t mad at me but even if she was I won’t mind because she was an angel.

We started the exam. Some were thinking hard, some were answering fast, some were edgy and I was just enjoying eating my nuts and chocolates while answering the test. I was thankful though at least I was 85% sure of my answers for the “principles & methods of educ” ( is this the term hehe sorry it’s been years)my DPE helped a lot, but for the “Gen. Ed” hmmm , I did a “minnie-miny-mooh” ( it only covers 20% of the total score anyway, that was my philosophy). In the afternoon we did the second part, my major subject was English. ( covers 40% of the total score) My eyes rolled up as it opened wide, “ tis gonna be the end.” I said to myself. Almost all of the questions were about literature asking you authors, titles and blah,blah . I had no choice but to make guesses again, needless to say that I was in a hurry to get done as I was already worn-out and sleepy.

“ How’s the exam?” my boyfriend asked. “Oh, well it needs prayer if I want to pass.” I answered.

A wish to work abroad

2008-05-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

Part 2

After taking D.P.E I was so nervous yet excited to take the LET. Every split second counts so I registered straight away in PRC. It was my first time to be in the place and I was shaken to see the scenario. Seemed the whole place was an evacuation center. There were various line ups, some people were already sitting on the floor and some were passing to and fro. Worst was you can’t pass any direction freely and fastly otherwise you will hit someone’s back, elbow, head or face. Yes, that’s how crowded the place was. Full of excited and anxious people experiencing sweat, headache, nausea and cramps just to make themselves “licensed” to do their jobs.
Sometimes, I just wonder why our 4-5 years or even more in school and our diplomas are not enough to gauge our knowledge, skills and credibility to be accepted in a job. And the worst scenario is when you fail the licensure exam. I know you have another chances 5 more? ( not so sure) but thinking the expenses, the mental and physical fatigue and of course the melancholy that you’d feel when you fail again. These thoughts were actually bothering me when I was lining up to register for LET but then again the power of my desire to work abroad was too strong to ignore. Consequently, I pursued the registration.

I enrolled at CNU for my review but I was caught up with some other things that I wasn’t able to attend even once in my classes. However, I managed to collect the hand outs and did a self-review. (but I wasn’t quite serious this time) I just read each hand out once then I was done. I started to become a “lazy bum” and impatient thinking about the period of time that I have to wait for the board exam( 5 months) and another period to wait for the result ( 3 months or so). Suddenly, sea of regrets and depression started to swallow me. I was restless and envious of my friends who were already working abroad, who did not choose for a certain career/work but grabbed any opportunity as long as it’s outside the country.

I got baffled whether to pursue this or not….

(yawn, yawn, yawn sorry it’s almost 1 am. See u in my next blog)

A Wish to Work Abroad

2008-05-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

Part 1

Almost every Filipino is dreaming to work abroad and considered me as one for an obvious reason. It wasn’t as easy as I thought. I needed to give up some things to gain the other. First, I have to make a career change since my bachelors degree and my job experiences were not “in demand” in other countries. I was so cautious though with my decision so I chose a career that is a sure ticket to other countries and a career that I will also love not just for the amount it pays. I could have chosen nursing and care-giving but I just couldn’t bear myself to be in school again for a long period of time after 7 years that I was free from assignments, reports, needless to say “the creepy teachers” and other stuff. Apparently I chose teaching and it only took me one semester to finish the course as I was a full time student. (yep, I quit my job to finish it faster). I don’t know if my classmates felt the same way as I did but I tell you that I’ve had downright pressures (my first migraine attack occurred this time). Either I was too serious because it was my brother who shouldered my school fees and I don’t wanna upset him or I had a “culture shock” (from marketing to teaching and from being out –of-school and being in school again) but I persevered because of my dream. Nevertheless, everything had been a wonderful experience. I was also lucky to have brilliant teachers and amazing classmates.

So you think I was set to go abroad? Nope , I still have to take LET the Level 2 of my preparation)
See you in my next blog for my LET experience

Giving you a break

2008-03-04T08:36:00.000-08:00

Hi guys, I hope I wasn’t messing up too much of your busy days asking your “clicks.”

I really don’t know if you read or viewed my blog or “click the adds by google.”
But I do hope you did and will still do ( wink)

I do wanna give you a break but to be honest your “clicks” are treasures to me. But still I can’t do anything if you choose to ignore me which is ultimately heartbreaking (huhuhuhu)
Well, what I can do right now is just trust you to grant my very tiny and simple favor. And I’d also do my best to share you more interesting topics, perhaps some things that could lighten your heavy days. Don’t you think it’s a good idea? Lemme know pls.

see how far...

2008-02-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

i'm not in a good condition right now but i am in the best mood creating this new interesting blog. clueless to say not even have a single idea what should i rant here. Well, to start on these, this is just a few words i could utter. heheh I'll just see how far i can go here...hehehe